鬼差走了之後 After the Grim Reaper Leave

1 channel video art, 5m13s (2021)

時隔一年半，偶然翻到阿婆的吿別式前一天，我坐火車回瑞穗的路上拍攝下 的一些影像片段， 濃厚的疏離感油然而生，早已忘了當時為何而拍，就像 隔著一面玻璃，感受不到當時的情緒，只能透過畫面中的反覆與晃動，去揣 測當時手持相機的那人，是否想逃避些什麼?

我從來不覺得阿婆離開了，她只是將形體化作一炷香，我們還是會走到她面 前說「我回來了」、「好好照顧自己，冬天再來看你」，但再次閱讀這些影像時 ，我才意識到，不僅當時的情緒消散了，阿婆事實上也離去了，並一起帶走 了她所建構出的那魔幻寫實的瑞穗世界觀，也象徵著一個時代的消逝。

吿別式前一晚表妹敍述著阿婆如何被鬼差帶走，細碎的耳語如同一連串咒語 ，穿插我再次閱讀當時影像所撰的散文片段，以儀式般的表演，試圖喚回舊 時代中逝去的魔幻。

After a year and a half, I accidentally came across some video clips I took on the train back to Hualien the day before my grand- ma’s funeral. A feeling of alienation arose spontaneously. I had forgotten why I took the videos and also can’t feel the emotions at that time. I can only guess through the repetition and shaking in the video, whether the person holding the camera wanted to escape from something?

I never felt that grandma was gone. She just turned her body into a stick of incense. We would still walk up to her and say “I’m back” and “take care, see you in the winter.” But when I watched these videos again, I realized that my grandma had actually left. She brought with her the magical realism worldview of Hualien she had seen, experienced, and shared with us, which also sym- bolized the passing of an era.

The night before the funeral, my sister told me how grandma was taken away by Grim Reaper. Her whispers were like a spell, inter- spersed with the words I wrote by re-reading the videos at that time. With a ritual-like performance, I attempted to evoke the lost magic of the old era.